Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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