Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
