I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
