I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
