Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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