mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
More tranny stories later!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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