I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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