I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
