WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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