census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
