ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
