is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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