I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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