I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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