'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
