found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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