Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
