I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
