I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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