yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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