Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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