Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
