how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
