she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
