Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm determined to sit on that face.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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