Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
