Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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