Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
