did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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