Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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