i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
