i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
