im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
