508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
