And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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