My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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