So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love having hate sex.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
