we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
