you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
