This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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