I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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