You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
