So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
