You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im holly from the hills drunk
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
