I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
