super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
