Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
