Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize