What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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