bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
