It's like a parade of train wrecks.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
