i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
