Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
