Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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