the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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