yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
