I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
