scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize