I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
