I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize