I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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