is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
