areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
