whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
