I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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