420 ftw
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I want a musical about memes.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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