Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
