i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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