And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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