That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
