I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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