she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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