even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
