Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
