I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize