So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
