member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize