Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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