she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
