I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
whose ass print is on the piano?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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