I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
