Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize