what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
