It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
